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On Judging Others
[NIV] Matthew 7: 1&2 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you”
Our Lord said ..“Do not judge, or you too will be judged” .. Just what do these words mean? We cannot help judging others, sure, after all we are only human! We ought to be able to read others characters, and to know whether others are good or bad. As we watch others act we can’t help forming opinions about them. The holier we grow and more like Christ, then the nearer will be our moral judgments. We are not meant to close our eyes and be blind to peoples faults and sins.
Q: “So what does our Lords words really mean to us?”
He is saying this .. ‘It is uncharitable judging against others for which He warns us, we are not actively looking for evil things – actions – behaviours in others. We are not to see others through the warped glasses of prejudice and unkindly feeling. We are not arrogate* to ourselves the function of judging, [*Arrogate:~take or claim something without justification], as if man was answerable to us. We are to avoid a critical or censorious spirit. Nothing is against speaking good of those we see and know, it is though uncharitable judging and speaking of those that are condemned.
Luke 6:37 “Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned”
One reason this is wrong, is that it is putting one’s self in Gods place. Words you don’t want to said of you is .. “Who made you judge and executioner” .. on hearing these words should be a warning that you have gone too far. For He/God is the one true judge, with whom every human soul is judged. Judgment is not ours to make but is Gods.. God only is the Lawmaker and the Judge, He who is able to save and destroy, so who are you that judges your neighbour?” .. In condemning and censuring others we are thrusting ourselves into Gods seat, taking His sceptre into our hands, and presuming to exercise His perogatives.
2 Chronicles 19:6 “Take heed to what you are doing, for you do not judge for man but for the Lord”
We don’t know what may be the cause of the faults we would condemn others. Some peoples flaws are an inheritance that they have received from our parents. They were born with the weakness that now mars their adulthood. Or, their faults come through errors in their training and education. Once, a Nurse fell with a Baby in her arms, years later, and all down the years the man goes about with a lameness or a deformity, which mars his beauty of form. But he's not responsible for the marring, and criticism of him is cruel and unjust. There are now hurts in his character, and wounds of the soul, which it is quite unjust to condemn with anything but pity, for they are the inheritance by someone else’s hands.
1 Corinthians 4:4&5 “My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. 5 Therefore judge nothing”
We don’t know the things in a persons circumstances or experiences which are the real cause of the faults, or even peculiarities we are disposed to censure. We don’t know what troubles they have endured, what secret sorrows they have had to carry, that are so impressed upon their hearts, as to affect their temper, or even the cause their conduct. . .It written ..
“If we could read the secret history of our
enemies, we should find in each persons
life, sorrows and sufferings, enough to
disarm all our hostility and angst”
...If we take time to wonder at a man’s unmercifulness, they will seem unsocial sour or even cold. But all the while they are carrying a burden which almost crushes the life out of them. If we knew all that God knows of their life, perhaps, just perhaps, we might not speak words of ill over them. Then may be our own censure would not be so harsh.
A great deal of our judging of others over misjudging or unjust judging, because we don’t know all the facts, that are leading upto this point in their lives. It would oftimes grieve us, and make us ashamed of ourselves, if, when we have judged an other severely , that is if we should be shown a glimpse of their inner life, revealing hidden sorrows & struggles, which are the root cause of the things in them we have blamed.
Betty and me would often be out in the car, when we’re cut up, by someone. I might go to react, Betty would say STOP, you don’t know the day they could be having or had, or the pressures that are on them to be somewhere. As frustrating as it can be, she always tries to get me to see the other side of the coin. When all I want to do is rage, it is very disarming.
Very often all we will see is but fragments of their lives, and no judgement formed on a fragment can be fair, we can only see one side of the coin, when there may be another that altogether changes it’s quality. The two sides could be seen as thus …
‘One side is always but blurred, like
a mass of crushed leaves, that are just out
of focus. The other side is seen in sharp
focus, showing the exquisite beauty
of the flower.’
. . . Life is full of similar 2 sided views of people and their acts. We would see someone out in the World, and they appear harsh & stern. Then we see them at home, and maybe see them around their invalid child, then all comes together a full life picture. It would therefore have been unjust if we made our judgement of them, from our ‘one-sided’ view of them, without seeing them with their child, loving ~ caring ~ nurturing.
There was a young man whom was severely criticised by his work colleagues for his closeness & meanness. He was paid a very good salery, but livid very miserly, without even basic comforts, which his friends thought he could easerly afforded, and without any of these generous expenditures in a social way which his work colleagues indulged in. Many thoughts were made of his stinginess. That was only one side of life, but there was in fact another. When the young man had an only sister, actually they were ‘Orphans’, she greatly suffered (in other words was very sick), she was stuck in her room, of which she was mostly bed ridden because of her illness. He was her only brother thus provided all her care needs.
This was the reason he lived so frugally, saving every penny he could, often going without many things others his age took for granted and thought necessary, so that she never went without, so she had the best care he could give her, and many comforts. This was the other side of his (hidden) character, the one side of which his work friends were unknowledgable & uncompassionate about. Surely we can see how unjust their judgement was based upon the one side they saw of his conduct. To judge from only seeing a fragment, is to judge ignorantly not least to say unfare.
[NIV] Matthew 7:2/5 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye”
Our own imperfections also make us unfit for judging fairly. With ‘beams in our own eyes, make it that we can not see clearly to pick the planks out of our brother eye’s. One of the qualities which make us incapable of impartial judgement of others is … ENVY. There are very few of us who can see our neighbour's lifes work disposition without some warping & distortion of the picture. Envy .. has a strange effect on our moral vision ..
It shows the beautiful things in others with the beauty dimmed ..
It shows the blemishes and faults in an exaggerated way ..
In other forms too, the miserable selfishness of our hearts obtrudes itself and makes our judgement of others oftimes really unkind and uncharitable
[NIV] Romans 8:26/7 “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people”
Another reason we should not judge others is that we need then to rise up out of their distresses. We are set together in life to make each other a lot better than we are. Their way to do this is not prattling on about their faults or short comings. Constantly pointing out their faults never cured anyone. There is a time, in friendship & love, for telling others their faults, but as I have already said, it can only be said in these relationships, also be only said in a spirit of lovingkindness.
We are often told one of the finest qualities in a friend is that they will faithfully, with love, tell us our faults. We would like to think it is so, but not many of us have grace enough to welcome and accept such correction. A parent may tell their own child their faults, so long as they tell us with love & affection, NEVER – EVER to ever approach with anger or impatience. There was a time when a teacher could tell a pupil of their mistakes and then show how to correct them, again if it was done with a loving desire for their improvement.
Nagging is not a means of grace
There is a more excellent way, that is love. It’s better when we wish to correct faults in others, be careful to let them see in us, in relief the virtue, the excellence, which is opposite to the defect we see in them ..
[NLT]Proverbs 3:12 “For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights”
[NIV]Proverbs 2:10/11 “For wisdom will enter your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. 11 Discretion will protect you, and understanding will guard you”
.. It is the habit formed by a certain type of person, that if they were to hear from a close member of their family & friends mispronounce a word, they never correct them, or tare strips of off them, right there and then, that would just be belittling. Instead they find the best and earliest opportunity, to show them the best time/way to use and pronounce the word. To correct in this manner is for sure the most wise in helping them and others out of their faults of character and conduct, in a more friendlier & softer way.
#That is our Lords way, with His disciples
He never scolded them#
He bore patiently with their dullness, and slowness as scholars. He [Jesus] never wearied of repeating the same lesson over and over again, but was never censorious. Even Jesus did not judge them, He didn’t keep telling them of al the blemishes He saw in them. It was just not His way of seeking their growth into better, sweeter life, for His heart is always full of love. He helped them ever toward a longer life. We always need to remember to relate to others to grow into spiritual beauty. Consciousness accomplishes nothing in making people better. You must always remember that scolding never really helped anyone…
Only LOVE creates LOVE
… We too often take too much delight in discovering something NOT beautiful about someone, and swooping down upon what ever they did wrong. Instead what is needed, is a complete change of mindset, in approaching them with love, when having to correct them...
[NIV] Psalms 35:24 “Vindicate me, O Lord my God, according to Your righteousness”
… If ever criticism is ever indulged in, it should be done with deep humility, and with sincere desire, that for their sake helping them making changes, only ever done just between you and them.
We ALL therefore need to train ourselves, to see the good in each other and NOT evil. We need to speak more approving & edifying, shinning the light on each others beauty within. And not words that are bitter ~ twisted ~ or hurtful & condemning words that would impact others for years to come. We must always try and look at others through eyes of love, and not those of ..Envy or Selfishness .. therefore we should seek to heal with words of true affection & gentleness.
Jesus Christ came in peace, lived with lovingkindness and peace, even keeping silent all the way through His persecution & crucifixion. Can we honestly say the same? Next time we feel like ripping into someone .. S T O P .. Think ~ breath ~ count to 10 next time you find yourself becoming embroiled in a heated discussion, and end up saying some thing you will regret.
