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The Cost of being a
Friend

    Such a strong word, which sadly, we have used, and weakened, the word Friend, very lightly to the point of loosing it’s importance. We talk of our ‘host of friends’ meaning, all with whom we have relations, or even of being a pleasant acquaintance. We may a certain person is a friend when we only know them only from work, or socially, when their hearts and ours have never touched in any real communion. There may be nothing amiss in this wide application of the word, but we ought to understand that in the use of it, it’s full sacred meaning is not even touched.

Before carrying on . . .
Friend:~ [re’a or rah-ah] Companion, neighbour, fellowman, familiar person. In Hebrew [ra~ah] means ‘associate with’ or ‘be a friend of’. . . A friend should always love at all times. They should with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one whom is exclusive of sexual or familiar relations.. A member of the religious society of friends.. To add (someone) to a list of friends, or contacts on a social-networking website..
Acquaintance :~ A person one knows socially but who is NOT a close friend .. 2. A wide circle of friends and acquaintances.
   To become another’s friend. in the true sense, is to take the other into such close, living fellowship, that their life and ours becomes knit together as one. It is now more than an association of mutual interests, profit, or enjoyment. It is for more than pleasant companionship in the bright sunny hours. A true friendship should be entirely unselfish, in both parties. It should always seek NO benefit and good of it’s own. It looks for not what it may receive, but for what they can give. Your aim is not to be ministered unto, but rather minister too.
Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times”
Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends, must himself be friendly. But there is a friend who sticks closer than another”

Be warned :

It Costs To be a Friend

   “For better for worse, For richer for poorer, In sickness and in Health.” These are words from the Wedding Vows, a true friend should be a strong form of friendship. As my wife and I did our dating via letters & phone calls daily. (as she lived in Northern Ireland, and I was living in South Devon), so we built up a strong bond. She has been my best friend since. When we take someone into our lives, as a friend, at this point we don’t know what it may cost us, to be faithful to our friend. Misfortune may befall our friend, and they may need our help in ways that will lay a heavy burden upon us. It may be in their business, or in their private life. Timely help may enable them to over come their problem, and thus turn around their misfortune.

   It is in our power to render them help, without which they would surely not have what it takes to turn things around. It will cost us though, personally, it will inconvenience us, and may bring trouble. But they are a close friend? BFF, if you will. (Best Friend Forever). It could be they been a close friend for a long time, thus becoming a partner in their affairs. So can we truly with hold the help they need. Which we are able to give, without breaking the Holy covenant of friendship and failing our obligations to them. My wife and I were watching a program called ‘Impractical Jokers’, whilst in the middle of a challenge one saw an old associate he once worked with, and so asked him to lend $100.oo, this guy said sure but instead of just $100, he handed over $200 without blinking, what an act friendship this guy showed. This is what I mean by a close friend.

Proverbs 17:17 “a brother is born for adversity”
   Sadly it may be the misfortune of sickness, or may be even broken health, (could be broken bones, mental health, or a disability), that befalls a friend. So at this point they are no longer to be of any help, able to contribute to the friendship, that does not mean we are to turn our backs. Just because we are the ones who are to minister to them, don’t turn your backs on them!

   Think not bad of your friend, that could not contribute their part in the friendship, and mutual ministering, giving as well as receiving. They could have been the one who had stood beside you in your time of trial. Our modern culture has cultivated the attitude of . . ‘Why should I care, it has nothing to do with me’, or, ‘What do I get out of it. . .
NKJV 2 Timothy 3:1-5 “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away”

. . . Now lets look at this in the Amplified version . . 
AMPC 2 Timothy 3:1-5 “But understand this, that in the last days will come (set in) perilous times of great stress and trouble [hard to deal with and hard to bear]. 2 For people will be lovers of self and [utterly] self-centred, lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate [greedy] desire for wealth, proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters. They will be abusive (blasphemous, scoffing), disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane. 3 [They will be] without natural [human] affection (callous and inhuman), relentless (admitting of no truce or appeasement); [they will be] slanderers (false accusers, troublemakers), intemperate and loose in morals and conduct, uncontrolled and fierce, haters of good. 4 [They will be] treacherous [betrayers], rash, [and] inflated with self-conceit. [They will be] lovers of sensual pleasures and vain amusements more than and rather than lovers of God. 5 For [although] they hold a form of piety (true religion), they deny and reject and are strangers to the power of it [their conduct belies the genuineness of their profession]. Avoid [all] such people [turn away from them]”
. . . It is safe say to that we all know of people that have one or more of the above. These poor souls do need our prayers.
   The meaning of true friendship wherever it exists, is not based purely on helpfulness or service which it must receive as it’s condition, It’s source is in the heart itself. It’s essential desire is to help serve. It makes no nice calculation for so much to be given and so much received. It stops at no cost which faithfulness may entail. It hesitates at no self denial which may be necessary to the fulfilment of it’s duties. It does not complain when everything has given up. It only grows stronger & truer & more constant as the demands for giving and serving becomes larger.
   We need to be mindful of the cost of friendship, which should not be ignored, that which comes with revealing of faults and flaws and sins. At first glance, when we meet people we can only see the surface of the character that is projected. Thus we become attracted to the elements that win us over. At length our attraction goes out to them and eventually calling them friends. We walk with them in pleasant companionship that makes no demands on our unselfishness, this discloses little of their true nature. Even at this point we see/know beyond the surface. Sadly nothing has occurred in the progress of our friendship to bring out the things in their disposition which are altogether not lovely.

Be warned :

It Costs To be a Friend

   Over time, a closer intimacy, that reveals their faults. Then we can learn what lies beneath attractive exterior which so pleased us we find they to like us, have blemishes ~ spots ~ flaws, which sadly disfigure the beauty of life. We learn in them are elements or meanness, which in turn will cause us pain. Then learn that they have secret habits that we find repulsive. These highlighted things in their demeanour, that we never suspected, which are more evident the closer the friendship becomes. . .
Psalms 52: 2-4 “Your tongue devises destruction, Like a sharp razor, working deceitfully. 3 You love evil more than good, Lying rather than speaking righteousness. 4 You love all devouring words, You deceitful tongue”
. . . the longest and freest acquaintance previous to marriage only the better side of the life, for both of them. The same is true in the greater, or lesser, degree in all friendships.
   This then is a servier test of love. It is the rise into something of the Spirit of Christ that we are able to meet this test of friendship. He [Jesus] takes us as we are and never grows weary of us, what ever faults and sins discover themselves in us. There is infinite comfort in this for us. We are conscience of our unworthiness and the unlovelyness, this in our souls.
   Many of us have pages from our lives which we would not dare spread out before anyone else’s eyes. They are our inner feelings, even desires, jealousies & motives, which we don’t feel happy about laying bear to our dearest trusted friends. Yet Christ knows all of our sins & faults, which we keep only for Him to know. . Nothing is hidden. . nothing can be hidden God’s eye’s. To Him there is a perfect revealing of our innermost feelings such as ~ desires ~ longings ~ cravings, which we would not feel secure in laying bear to our dearest, in we trust the most with our dearest friends. . .

>> YET CHRIST KNOWS THEM ALL <<

. . . yet we need not feel afraid that His friendship for us will NOT change or grow less, or with draw itself, when He discovers in us all the repulsive things. This is the ideal of ‘Human-friendships’. They are not repelled by them being found out..
NKJ ~ Revelation 3:8 “I know your works”
NIV ~ Revelation 3:8 “I know your deeds”
AMP ~Revelation 3:8 “I know your [record of] works and what you are doing”
.. our Lord will not offer up our blemishes, even though nothing is hidden from His eye’s. True friendship is unconditional, though there are those relations that are toxic and do nothing but bring you down if your promoted. To the extent that they will smear your name to bring you down, hold you back. The tradergy is that you will have to cut these loose, like a cancer, because they'll stop you from being able grow.

Romans 16:20 “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you”
Grace :~ Charis [Khar~ece]From the same root as Chara ‘Joy’, Chario causes ‘rejoicing’. It’s Gods grace as extended in sinful man. It signifies unmerited facour, undeserved blessing, or a free gift.

   In spite He continues to love us all, even because He found unbeautiful and unworthiness within us. He teaches us a form of friendship that is loyal. As He loves us, He would have us love others. We say many are unworthy of such friendships. True or not, niegh?? are worthy of Christ’s wondrous love of us. But, Christ loves us not according to the riches of our own heart. So it would be the giving of friendship, not as the person deserves, but after the measure of our own character.

   I hope that all these illustrations are enough to show just what it costs to being a ‘True Friend’. When we receive someone into being a ‘Faithful’, relation, all be it that we don’t know what responsibility, and what burdens we may be taking upon ourselves, and the sorrows it may cost our love. We accept a solemn responsibility when we do so. At this moment we have no idea the burdens we may be engaging to carry, also the cost of the unconscience pledging ourselves to.

   Let me say this in closing. When choosing our friends, we must be therefore, thoughtfully, wisely, prayerfully, before we open the doors to our inner self and pledging our friendship & love, we need to be faithfull what ever the cost may be.

Getting Christ’s Touch

 

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Getting Christ’s Touch

   There was wondrous power in the touch of Christ when He was on the Earth. Wherever He laid His hand there was a blessing. Vertue went out of Him, in every touch of the sick .. and sad .. and wearisome .. giving full health .. and giving comfort & peace. That hand, glorified, now held in it’s grasp the seven stars. Yet there are senses in which the blessed touch of Christ is felt on the Earth. He is still as real today in our World … Matthew 8:16 “When evening had come, they brought to Him many who were demon-possessed. And He cast out the spirits with a word, and healed all who were sick” … as He was when He walked throughout Judea & Galilee, in human form. He was with each of His people, His parting promise was …
Matthew 28:20 “I am with you always [remaining with you perpetually—regardless of circumstance, and on every occasion], even to the end of the age.” AMP1

   The hand of Christ is yet laid on the weary .. the suffering .. the sorrowful, and though it’s pressure, is unfelt, it’s power to bless in the same, as in ancient days. It is laid on the sick, when precious Heavenly words of cheer and encouragement from the scriptures are read at their bedsides, giving the sweet patience and quieting their fears ...
For the Weary:- Isaiah 40:31 “But those who wait on the Lord Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint"
For the Diseased & Lepers:- Luke 17:19 “Arise, go your way. Your faith has made you well.”
For the Fears & Love:- 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love”
… it is His laid hand, on the sorrowful, when the consolations of divine have come to their hearts with blessed comfort, giving them strength to submit to Gods will and rejoice in the midst of trials. It is laid on the Faint .. and weary, when the grace of Christ comes to them with it’s Holy peace, hushing the tumultuous feelings, and giving into the true rest of their soul.

   There is another way which the hand of God is laid on human hands. He sends His disciples out into the World to represent Him . . “Peace to you! As the Father has sent Me, I also send you.” [John 20:21] . . of cause the Holiest Christians lives can only be the dimmest , faintest reproductions of the rich, full, blessed life of Christ Jesus. Yet it is in this way, through earthen vessels, He has ordained us to save the World, and to heal, help comfort, lift up and build up man.

   Perhaps in thinking of what God does for the World, we are to be inclined to over look the human, and think of Him touching lives directly and immediately. Lets say: A friend is struggling, with one or more of these .. addiction .. depression .. money or some other restraint. So going to our knees, we pray to God for Him to send them comfort. But it’s not to be that He would send them comfort through our own heart & lips? May be there is someone we love, whom is not doing so well, and is slowly drifting away from life, thus beyond recovery and now is about to pass away. In anguish we cry to God, pleading with Him to lay His hands on them. Surely, God wants us to be at this moment, to step out in faith. Just as the Centurion did when he approached Jesus, wanting Him to heal his servant ..
Matthew 8:5-10 “Acenturion came to Him, pleading with Him, 6 saying, “Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, dreadfully tormented.” 7 And Jesus said to him, “I will come and heal him.” 8 The centurion answered and said, “Lord, I am not worthy that You should come under my roof. But only speak a word, and my servant will be healed. 9 For I also am a man under authority, having soldiers under me. And I say to this one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come,’ and he comes; and to my servant, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.” 10 When Jesus heard it, He marvelled, and said to those who followed, “Assuredly, I say to you, I have not found such great faith, not even in Israel” . . . certain it is, at least, that each one of us who knows the love of Christ is ordained to be Christ to others, that is, to show them the spirit of Christ, in patience .. gentleness .. thoughtfulness .. love and yearning for Christ. We are taught to say:- “Christ liveth in me” If this be true, Christ loves others through us, and our touch must be to others as the very touch of Christ Himself. Every Christian ought to be, in his human measure, a new incarnation of the Christ, so much so that people will say:- ‘He interprets Christ to me. He comforts me in my sorrow as Christ Himself would do if He were to come and sit down beside me, and is helpful .. patient as Christ would be if He were return and take me as a disciple’.
2 Corinthians 5:14 “For the love of Christ compels us”

   We may help people in a certain way without loving them directly. We may render them services of a certain kind, benefiting them externally or temporally. We may put gifts into their hands .. building them houses .. purchasing the clothing .. carrying shopping .. improve their circumstances or conditions.
   We may do many things for them. The highest and most real help, we can give them, only through loving them. We are to give ourselves unconditionally, looking for NO profit for self, on the surface, but our will, will soar high. I know of a woman who bought shopping for a family in need, had it delivered, with no name telling them whom had done this wondrously kind act. As, she, did not need to have the gratitude, only God knew who did this, that in it’s self was enough.

   There’s a touching story I read about recently, a very suggestive story of a good woman, in Sweden, who opened a home for all crippled & diseased Children, Children for whom on one else was ready to care for. In due time she received about 20 of these unfortunate little ones. Among them was a boy of 3yrs old, who was the most frightful & disagreeable young boy, as he resembled a skeleton. His skin was covered in hideous blotches & soars. He was always whining and crying. The poor little boy gave the good lady more care and trouble, than all the others put together. She did her best for him and was as kind as possible, she washed him .. fed him .. and nursed him. But the poor child was so repulsive in his looks and in his ways, that try as she did, she could not bring herself to like him, sadly her disgust would show itself on her face, but in spite of her effort to hide it, she could not love the child.
   One day she was sitting on the verandah steps ,of her home, with him in her arms. The sun was shinning brightly and the perfume of the Autumn honeysuckles, the chirping of the birds, and the buzzing of the insects, lulled her into a light sleep. Then in a half waking ~ half dreaming state, she though of herself as having changed places with the child, and was laying there only far more repulsive than he was. Stood over her was a shadow, and it was the Lord Jesus bending, looking lovingly into her face, yet with an expression of gentle rebuke in His eyes, almost as if to say:- ‘If I can bear with you, who are so full of sin, surely you ought for my sake, to love that innocent child who suffers for the sins of his parents’ . . .
Romans 12:9-11 “Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. 10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honour giving preference to one another; 11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord” . . . so she woke with a fervent start, and looking into the boys face, because he to had woken with a start, he looked into her face very earnestly. Sorry for her past disgust, and feeling compassion for him, and a new love springing up in her bosom for him. She bent her face to his and kissed him tenderly, more than she had ever kissed a babe of her own. With a startled look in his eyes and a flush on cheeks, the boy gave her a smile so sweet that she had ever seen, before. From that moment a wonderful change came over the child. The woman had seen a vision of hers elfin that blotched-repulsive-child, and of Christ’s wonderful love for her, in spite of her sinfulness. Under the inspiration of this vision, she had become indeed Christ to the child. The love of Christ had come into her heart.

   This goes to show how important an earnest & truthful love is. Don’t lean on your own sight, as we need to see what God sees, thus being able to see what is before us. Christ loves the unlovely .. the loathsome .. the deformed .. the diseased. We have only to think of ourselves as we are in His sight, and remember that in spite of all the moral and spiritual loathsomeness in us. He yet loves us, does not shrink away from us, and lays His hands on us, healing us. This woman had got a touch from Christ, but also getting the love of Christ in her heart. We can get it no other way. We must see ourselves as Christ’s servants, and to be to others what He is to us. Then shall we be fit to bless every life our lives touch. Our words shall throb with love of Christ, and find their way to the hearts of the weary & sorrowful.

   There will be a sympathetic thrill in our lives which will give a strange power of helpfulness to what ever we do, says this mystery writer .. “let man press nearer to God and open His nature more widely to admit the energy of Christ, and whether He knows it, he will certainly be growing in the power God with man, and man with God”… Matthew 8:3-4 “Then Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, “I am willing; be cleansed.”Immediately his leprosy was cleansed. 4 And Jesus said to him, “See that you tell no one; but go your way, show yourself to the priest, and offer the gift that Moses commanded, as a testimony to them.”... Everywhere about us, there are lives which, by the touch of ‘our hand’, in loving warmth, in Christ’s name, would be wondrously blessed.

   I want to share one more story with you, if you will indulge me .. A tail of a fell going to a jewellers to look at some gemstones. Among other stones, there was an Opal. As it lay there, however it appeared dull and altogether lustreless. Then the jeweller took into his hand, and held it for some moments, and the showed to his customer. Now the Opal gleamed and flashed with all the glories of the rainbow. As all it needed was the human hand to bring out the iridescence .. There are human lives everywhere about us that are rich in their possibilities of beauty and glory. .

NO gems and jewels are so precious!

. . but we do see some people as they are at the moment, as dull and lustreless and without brightness. It could be that they are covered in life stains, and defiled by sin. Even so, all they need is the touch of Christ, to bring out their radiance .. the loveliness, the beauty of the divine image in them.

   You and I must be the hand of Christ to those that are lustreless and those stained lives by sin. Next time when out and about, try to see past someone’s ’shopfront’, more often than not their beauty is waiting for you to open the door and let God’s radiance to shine in, and illuminate them with His touch through us.


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1:- AMP = Ampilfied version of the Bible