56:250222
The Cost of being a
Friend
Such a strong word, which sadly, we have used, and weakened, the word Friend, very lightly to the point of loosing it’s importance. We talk of our ‘host of friends’ meaning, all with whom we have relations, or even of being a pleasant acquaintance. We may a certain person is a friend when we only know them only from work, or socially, when their hearts and ours have never touched in any real communion. There may be nothing amiss in this wide application of the word, but we ought to understand that in the use of it, it’s full sacred meaning is not even touched. Before carrying on . . .
Friend:~ [re’a or rah-ah] Companion, neighbour, fellowman, familiar person. In Hebrew [ra~ah] means ‘associate with’ or ‘be a friend of’. . . A friend should always love at all times. They should with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one whom is exclusive of sexual or familiar relations.. A member of the religious society of friends.. To add (someone) to a list of friends, or contacts on a social-networking website..
Acquaintance :~ A person one knows socially but who is NOT a close friend .. 2. A wide circle of friends and acquaintances.
To become another’s friend. in the true sense, is to take the other into such close, living fellowship, that their life and ours becomes knit together as one. It is now more than an association of mutual interests, profit, or enjoyment. It is for more than pleasant companionship in the bright sunny hours. A true friendship should be entirely unselfish, in both parties. It should always seek NO benefit and good of it’s own. It looks for not what it may receive, but for what they can give. Your aim is not to be ministered unto, but rather minister too.
Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times”
Proverbs 18:24 “A man who has friends, must himself be friendly. But there is a friend who sticks closer than another”
Be warned :
It Costs To be a Friend
“For better for worse, For richer for poorer, In sickness and in Health.” These are words from the Wedding Vows, a true friend should be a strong form of friendship. As my wife and I did our dating via letters & phone calls daily. (as she lived in Northern Ireland, and I was living in South Devon), so we built up a strong bond. She has been my best friend since. When we take someone into our lives, as a friend, at this point we don’t know what it may cost us, to be faithful to our friend. Misfortune may befall our friend, and they may need our help in ways that will lay a heavy burden upon us. It may be in their business, or in their private life. Timely help may enable them to over come their problem, and thus turn around their misfortune.
It is in our power to render them help, without which they would surely not have what it takes to turn things around. It will cost us though, personally, it will inconvenience us, and may bring trouble. But they are a close friend? BFF, if you will. (Best Friend Forever). It could be they been a close friend for a long time, thus becoming a partner in their affairs. So can we truly with hold the help they need. Which we are able to give, without breaking the Holy covenant of friendship and failing our obligations to them. My wife and I were watching a program called ‘Impractical Jokers’, whilst in the middle of a challenge one saw an old associate he once worked with, and so asked him to lend $100.oo, this guy said sure but instead of just $100, he handed over $200 without blinking, what an act friendship this guy showed. This is what I mean by a close friend.
Proverbs 17:17 “a brother is born for adversity”
Sadly it may be the misfortune of sickness, or may be even broken health, (could be broken bones, mental health, or a disability), that befalls a friend. So at this point they are no longer to be of any help, able to contribute to the friendship, that does not mean we are to turn our backs. Just because we are the ones who are to minister to them, don’t turn your backs on them!
Think not bad of your friend, that could not contribute their part in the friendship, and mutual ministering, giving as well as receiving. They could have been the one who had stood beside you in your time of trial. Our modern culture has cultivated the attitude of . . ‘Why should I care, it has nothing to do with me’, or, ‘What do I get out of it. . .
NKJV 2 Timothy 3:1-5 “But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: 2 For men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, 3 unloving, unforgiving, slanderers, without self-control, brutal, despisers of good, 4 traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away”
. . . Now lets look at this in the Amplified version . .
AMPC 2 Timothy 3:1-5 “But understand this, that in the last days will come (set in) perilous times of great stress and trouble [hard to deal with and hard to bear]. 2 For people will be lovers of self and [utterly] self-centred, lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate [greedy] desire for wealth, proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters. They will be abusive (blasphemous, scoffing), disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane. 3 [They will be] without natural [human] affection (callous and inhuman), relentless (admitting of no truce or appeasement); [they will be] slanderers (false accusers, troublemakers), intemperate and loose in morals and conduct, uncontrolled and fierce, haters of good. 4 [They will be] treacherous [betrayers], rash, [and] inflated with self-conceit. [They will be] lovers of sensual pleasures and vain amusements more than and rather than lovers of God. 5 For [although] they hold a form of piety (true religion), they deny and reject and are strangers to the power of it [their conduct belies the genuineness of their profession]. Avoid [all] such people [turn away from them]”
. . . It is safe say to that we all know of people that have one or more of the above. These poor souls do need our prayers.
The meaning of true friendship wherever it exists, is not based purely on helpfulness or service which it must receive as it’s condition, It’s source is in the heart itself. It’s essential desire is to help serve. It makes no nice calculation for so much to be given and so much received. It stops at no cost which faithfulness may entail. It hesitates at no self denial which may be necessary to the fulfilment of it’s duties. It does not complain when everything has given up. It only grows stronger & truer & more constant as the demands for giving and serving becomes larger.
We need to be mindful of the cost of friendship, which should not be ignored, that which comes with revealing of faults and flaws and sins. At first glance, when we meet people we can only see the surface of the character that is projected. Thus we become attracted to the elements that win us over. At length our attraction goes out to them and eventually calling them friends. We walk with them in pleasant companionship that makes no demands on our unselfishness, this discloses little of their true nature. Even at this point we see/know beyond the surface. Sadly nothing has occurred in the progress of our friendship to bring out the things in their disposition which are altogether not lovely.
Psalms 52: 2-4 “Your tongue devises destruction, Like a sharp razor, working deceitfully. 3 You love evil more than good, Lying rather than speaking righteousness. 4 You love all devouring words, You deceitful tongue”
. . . the longest and freest acquaintance previous to marriage only the better side of the life, for both of them. The same is true in the greater, or lesser, degree in all friendships.
This then is a servier test of love. It is the rise into something of the Spirit of Christ that we are able to meet this test of friendship. He [Jesus] takes us as we are and never grows weary of us, what ever faults and sins discover themselves in us. There is infinite comfort in this for us. We are conscience of our unworthiness and the unlovelyness, this in our souls.
Many of us have pages from our lives which we would not dare spread out before anyone else’s eyes. They are our inner feelings, even desires, jealousies & motives, which we don’t feel happy about laying bear to our dearest trusted friends. Yet Christ knows all of our sins & faults, which we keep only for Him to know. . Nothing is hidden. . nothing can be hidden God’s eye’s. To Him there is a perfect revealing of our innermost feelings such as ~ desires ~ longings ~ cravings, which we would not feel secure in laying bear to our dearest, in we trust the most with our dearest friends. . .
NKJ ~ Revelation 3:8 “I know your works”
NIV ~ Revelation 3:8 “I know your deeds”
AMP ~Revelation 3:8 “I know your [record of] works and what you are doing”
.. our Lord will not offer up our blemishes, even though nothing is hidden from His eye’s. True friendship is unconditional, though there are those relations that are toxic and do nothing but bring you down if your promoted. To the extent that they will smear your name to bring you down, hold you back. The tradergy is that you will have to cut these loose, like a cancer, because they'll stop you from being able grow.
Romans 16:20 “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you”
Grace :~ Charis [Khar~ece]From the same root as Chara ‘Joy’, Chario causes ‘rejoicing’. It’s Gods grace as extended in sinful man. It signifies unmerited facour, undeserved blessing, or a free gift.
In spite He continues to love us all, even because He found unbeautiful and unworthiness within us. He teaches us a form of friendship that is loyal. As He loves us, He would have us love others. We say many are unworthy of such friendships. True or not, niegh?? are worthy of Christ’s wondrous love of us. But, Christ loves us not according to the riches of our own heart. So it would be the giving of friendship, not as the person deserves, but after the measure of our own character.
I hope that all these illustrations are enough to show just what it costs to being a ‘True Friend’. When we receive someone into being a ‘Faithful’, relation, all be it that we don’t know what responsibility, and what burdens we may be taking upon ourselves, and the sorrows it may cost our love. We accept a solemn responsibility when we do so. At this moment we have no idea the burdens we may be engaging to carry, also the cost of the unconscience pledging ourselves to.
Let me say this in closing. When choosing our friends, we must be therefore, thoughtfully, wisely, prayerfully, before we open the doors to our inner self and pledging our friendship & love, we need to be faithfull what ever the cost may be.
AMPC 2 Timothy 3:1-5 “But understand this, that in the last days will come (set in) perilous times of great stress and trouble [hard to deal with and hard to bear]. 2 For people will be lovers of self and [utterly] self-centred, lovers of money and aroused by an inordinate [greedy] desire for wealth, proud and arrogant and contemptuous boasters. They will be abusive (blasphemous, scoffing), disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy and profane. 3 [They will be] without natural [human] affection (callous and inhuman), relentless (admitting of no truce or appeasement); [they will be] slanderers (false accusers, troublemakers), intemperate and loose in morals and conduct, uncontrolled and fierce, haters of good. 4 [They will be] treacherous [betrayers], rash, [and] inflated with self-conceit. [They will be] lovers of sensual pleasures and vain amusements more than and rather than lovers of God. 5 For [although] they hold a form of piety (true religion), they deny and reject and are strangers to the power of it [their conduct belies the genuineness of their profession]. Avoid [all] such people [turn away from them]”
. . . It is safe say to that we all know of people that have one or more of the above. These poor souls do need our prayers.
The meaning of true friendship wherever it exists, is not based purely on helpfulness or service which it must receive as it’s condition, It’s source is in the heart itself. It’s essential desire is to help serve. It makes no nice calculation for so much to be given and so much received. It stops at no cost which faithfulness may entail. It hesitates at no self denial which may be necessary to the fulfilment of it’s duties. It does not complain when everything has given up. It only grows stronger & truer & more constant as the demands for giving and serving becomes larger.
We need to be mindful of the cost of friendship, which should not be ignored, that which comes with revealing of faults and flaws and sins. At first glance, when we meet people we can only see the surface of the character that is projected. Thus we become attracted to the elements that win us over. At length our attraction goes out to them and eventually calling them friends. We walk with them in pleasant companionship that makes no demands on our unselfishness, this discloses little of their true nature. Even at this point we see/know beyond the surface. Sadly nothing has occurred in the progress of our friendship to bring out the things in their disposition which are altogether not lovely.
Be warned :
It Costs To be a Friend
Over time, a closer intimacy, that reveals their faults. Then we can learn what lies beneath attractive exterior which so pleased us we find they to like us, have blemishes ~ spots ~ flaws, which sadly disfigure the beauty of life. We learn in them are elements or meanness, which in turn will cause us pain. Then learn that they have secret habits that we find repulsive. These highlighted things in their demeanour, that we never suspected, which are more evident the closer the friendship becomes. . .Psalms 52: 2-4 “Your tongue devises destruction, Like a sharp razor, working deceitfully. 3 You love evil more than good, Lying rather than speaking righteousness. 4 You love all devouring words, You deceitful tongue”
. . . the longest and freest acquaintance previous to marriage only the better side of the life, for both of them. The same is true in the greater, or lesser, degree in all friendships.
This then is a servier test of love. It is the rise into something of the Spirit of Christ that we are able to meet this test of friendship. He [Jesus] takes us as we are and never grows weary of us, what ever faults and sins discover themselves in us. There is infinite comfort in this for us. We are conscience of our unworthiness and the unlovelyness, this in our souls.
Many of us have pages from our lives which we would not dare spread out before anyone else’s eyes. They are our inner feelings, even desires, jealousies & motives, which we don’t feel happy about laying bear to our dearest trusted friends. Yet Christ knows all of our sins & faults, which we keep only for Him to know. . Nothing is hidden. . nothing can be hidden God’s eye’s. To Him there is a perfect revealing of our innermost feelings such as ~ desires ~ longings ~ cravings, which we would not feel secure in laying bear to our dearest, in we trust the most with our dearest friends. . .
>> YET CHRIST KNOWS THEM ALL <<
. . . yet we need not feel afraid that His friendship for us will NOT change or grow less, or with draw itself, when He discovers in us all the repulsive things. This is the ideal of ‘Human-friendships’. They are not repelled by them being found out..NKJ ~ Revelation 3:8 “I know your works”
NIV ~ Revelation 3:8 “I know your deeds”
AMP ~Revelation 3:8 “I know your [record of] works and what you are doing”
.. our Lord will not offer up our blemishes, even though nothing is hidden from His eye’s. True friendship is unconditional, though there are those relations that are toxic and do nothing but bring you down if your promoted. To the extent that they will smear your name to bring you down, hold you back. The tradergy is that you will have to cut these loose, like a cancer, because they'll stop you from being able grow.
Romans 16:20 “The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you”
Grace :~ Charis [Khar~ece]From the same root as Chara ‘Joy’, Chario causes ‘rejoicing’. It’s Gods grace as extended in sinful man. It signifies unmerited facour, undeserved blessing, or a free gift.
In spite He continues to love us all, even because He found unbeautiful and unworthiness within us. He teaches us a form of friendship that is loyal. As He loves us, He would have us love others. We say many are unworthy of such friendships. True or not, niegh?? are worthy of Christ’s wondrous love of us. But, Christ loves us not according to the riches of our own heart. So it would be the giving of friendship, not as the person deserves, but after the measure of our own character.
I hope that all these illustrations are enough to show just what it costs to being a ‘True Friend’. When we receive someone into being a ‘Faithful’, relation, all be it that we don’t know what responsibility, and what burdens we may be taking upon ourselves, and the sorrows it may cost our love. We accept a solemn responsibility when we do so. At this moment we have no idea the burdens we may be engaging to carry, also the cost of the unconscience pledging ourselves to.
Let me say this in closing. When choosing our friends, we must be therefore, thoughtfully, wisely, prayerfully, before we open the doors to our inner self and pledging our friendship & love, we need to be faithfull what ever the cost may be.
